


Resolutions

by MeganMoonlight



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: M/M, New Year's Resolutions, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-20
Updated: 2011-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-27 15:19:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/297254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeganMoonlight/pseuds/MeganMoonlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Until now Leonard hadn’t been a person who cared about things like resolutions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resolutions

Leonard sat down in the sickbay and groaned loudly. Trust the crew to drink too much on Christmas breakfast, eat far more than necessary or manage to find out that somebody was allergic to something unexpected. This meant more hours working, not only for him but also for Chapel and M'Benga. Dealing with people behaving like kids too excited about Christmas, celebrating for too long, and feeling bad for ending up under Leonard's care was not anyone's favourite way to pass the time. But after spending so much time on Enterprise, Leonard didn't even bother to actually look surprised when he saw somebody appearing at his door or being called because of some emergency.

Yes, the period of time between holidays was always very interesting and always busy. Be it celebrations, of relaxing, or working, there was always something to do and Leonard had quickly learned to expect the unexpected and never assume anything would go as smoothly as planned. That's why if anybody planned something, it was always good to prepare at least three backup plans just in case, taking under consideration as many possibilities as one person could, even those that seemed nearly impossible - because when in space, you never knew.

Leonard was, of course, one of these people who had something planned for New Year. He had planned it for so long, imagining it, but for the last few months, whenever he tried to do this, he kept changing his mind whenever he was close to doing what he wanted. But he had enough of being a coward.

This time he promised himself that on New Year he will tell James Tiberius Kirk how he feels about him. It was his New Year's resolution.

Until now Leonard hadn’t been a person who cared about things like resolutions. He found them unnecessary most of the time - either you wanted to do something or you didn't want to. For him resolutions were kind of like lying to yourself, making yourself and the others believe that something will change if you keep promising that you will try. From his experience, resolutions were just promises. People liked them because they needed to think that these promises alone will change something.

Now, when Leonard made a resolution himself, he kept thinking about his point of view or actually re-considering it. Going through all the times he had tried to tell Jim how he felt, all the times he backed down, thinking that he still had time, that it could wait, Jim was busy, or sometimes just because of his own insecurities Leonard realized that even if he did decide to tell Jim, he needed a plan, needed something to ground him and motivate him.

Watching Jim smile every day, wishing people a good day, happy holidays, spending time with crewmembers and being his usual, cheery self always made Leonard calmer - but the fact that Jim was spending his time with everybody else on board but him bothered Leonard. One breakfast and a couple of entertaining visits in the sickbay wasn't enough, and hadn't spent much time together at the holiday party either. It looked like everybody wanted to spend some time with Jim, but it wasn't really surprising. Jim also enjoyed spending time with his crew, making sure everybody was fine.

Scotty and Gaila were the ones who came up with the idea of New Year party. There was no objections to this proposal (people didn't mind a reason to have some time off and just relax together), Jim of course agreed to everything.

But the party, of course, had to interfere with Leonard's plans. Trust everybody to just mess them up. Just as he predicted. He tried to avoid the subject of the celebration anytime anyone from the crew mentioned it, even when he was asked to come. He usually shrugged in response and kept answering that he would see. For him, the party meant that Jim would prefer spending time with the crew instead of with him. Because why wouldn't he?

That was what he was thinking whenever the subject of New Years came up. He had to come up with something else to catch Jim’s attention, then. He couldn't stop thinking about it during his breakfast. It was his day off and he couldn't even relax properly. Just great.

"You look terrible, Doc."

Leonard blinked a couple of times and looked at Scotty and Harris, smiling as they sat opposite to him.

"Thank you, Harris. You're not so bad yourself," Leonard replied, taking a bite of his sandwich. "Not doing your job today?"

"I'm on beta. I had to switch. The headaches were driving me nuts."

"And your idea to remedy that is walking around the ship with Scotty?" Leonard just shook his head, resigned. Of course nobody would listen to him. "What happened to staying in your quarters?"

Harris looked down, flustered. "I just had to leave my quarters for a while. I hate not having anything to do. I thought I'd go talk to Garrovick. I'm going back soon; I just needed to eat something."

"Don't we all," murmured Leonard, rolling his eyes at Harris' obvious lie. Scotty just patted Harris on the shoulder.

"Ye should always listen to our Doc, lad. Or you won't be able to go to the party. And you don't want to do that to Miss Gaila, believe me."

'Once again the party,' thought Leonard grimly, and he began chewing slower, just to avoid talking about it. For some reason he knew that with Scotty, he just wouldn't be able to escape the subject, no matter how much he wanted to.

"I know. She caught me and Garrovick and made us agree to come."

"She's brilliant, isn't she? And yes, everybody who has some time off will be there, she says," Scotty said. His bright smile made Leonard sigh. He really should have expected the next question, so he didn't know why he was surprised when it come.

"And you, Doc? Coming or not? It will be fun!"

"Not sure, yet. I probably should stay in the sickbay, just in case," he answered simply, hoping that Scotty won't ask anymore. "You know, after the previous party I think it would be necessary. Christine and Geoff could use more time off."

Scotty just smiled and nodded. He said he had to get back to work, he made Leonard promise that he would think about attending the party. He disappeared only after Leonard agreed to reconsider his decision.

Now it was only Leonard and Harris by the table, sitting in comfortable silence, enjoying the food. Leonard really liked that Harris seemed to know when he didn't want to talk; just sitting there in silence was just fine for both of them. At first, because of Jim's conflicts with Harris, they didn't have many occasions to talk. Leonard hadn’t had a good opinion about him - but once they both ended up on the Enterprise, Leonard had found had that Harris was actually a decent guy when you got to know him. They had gotten along well ever after the first time Harris ended up in sickbay following a mission.

Soon they were again in sickbay, Leonard giving Harris something for his headache, advising him to spend more time laying down off duty. Just when Leonard thought Harris would go to his quarters, the other man surprised him.

"You could use some time off, too, you know," he said quietly. "Kirk seems to want you to go to the party. He keeps talking about it all the time."

Leonard snorted. "He wants everybody to go. If he could he would give everybody two days off."

"I still think it could be okay."

"You better think about getting back to your quarters and getting some sleep, or your head is going to hurt much more."

But Harris was right. Leonard stopped asking Jim to stop mentioning the party because it was just pointless. Jim couldn't stop smiling. It was almost as bad as his behavior before Christmas. Even that morning he was hyperactive.

"C'mon, Bones! Smile! A little bit of fun can never hurt. It's not like we have anything else to do," Jim said and took a bite of his sandwich. "We won't have any new orders for at least a week. The crew could use some fun in the meantime."

"As if they're bored every time something happens," Leonard rolled his eyes, but he had to admit, Jim was right. They didn't know when they would next have the opportunity. Not that he was going to admit it out loud.

"Don't be like that. People want you to come, too," Jim smiled and winked. Winked. The kid was going to be the death of him.

"Somebody has to stay in the sickbay, Jim. Christine and Geoff could use this time more than I could."

"That's the same thing you said the last time. Keep that up and I will start thinking that you just don't like going anywhere with me. That would hurt, you know," Jim pouted.

And damn it, even if it was a game, Jim was good at pouting and faking puppy eyes. Leonard just couldn't say no to him, even if it meant destroying his plans for a quiet dinner completely.

"Fine. I'll be there. Just don't expect me to sing or dance."

***

Geoff took a shift in the sickbay, saying that it'd be more productive for him and he could just relax and have some peace. Leonard patted him on the arm. Leonard still thought a dinner would be a better idea, or at least drinking something stronger before the party, but he couldn't complain all that much. He would get to spend time with Jim, even if it meant other people would be around too. He'd get to see Jim smile more, which was always a good thing, even if he would have preferred a chance for some quality time alone with him.

But Leonard just couldn't tell Jim how he felt with all those people around them. Not that he was ashamed. He wasn't. He didn't give a damn about what anybody else thought. It just wasn't how he wanted it to go. He wanted this one moment to be just him and Jim. Was that really so much to ask for?

At least the party wasn’t turning out to be as bad as Leonard had feared. The crew really deserved some time just to "socialize" as Jim liked to put it. Everybody laughed and talked. Gaila kept chatting with everybody, asking various people to dance. She looked gorgeous as always. Chekov was lucky enough to dance with her at least three times, after Gaila let Rand go. Scotty was talking with Uhura as he handed her a glass of champagne. She smiled brightly at him and he smiled back. Spock appeared stoic as always, and standing next to Sulu and Christine as they both listened to Jim telling what sounded like a gripping story. He was gesturing much more than necessary, Leonard thought, but his eyes were shining. It was hard to stop looking. And he would have kept watching if for a touch of somebody's hand on his shoulder. He blinked a couple of times and turned around to see Gaila smiling at him brightly. Very close to the way Jim smiled.

"Go ask him to dance, Leonard," she said in a conversational tone as she stepped closer. "You just keep staring at him."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Gaila," he replied, but even to his own ears it just sounded like a very bad lie. No wonder she just patted him on the arm, giving him a sympathetic smile.

"Whatever you say," she said and turned around to accept someone else’s invitation to dance. Right before she left, she whispered, "I really think you should tell him."

Leonard couldn’t say that he was surprised. Gaila was very perceptive and it was hard to hide anything from her as he had quickly found out . It was always fine to talk to her and so far every advice she had given had turned out to be good. Not that he'd tell her. This time, though... he still had no idea how to approach it.

People kept shaking Leonard’s hand as they wished him a Happy New Year, and it indeed felt nice. But just when Harris left to talk to Garrovick, Leonard heard Jim laughing at something Sulu had said. He sighed. Jim talked with everybody yet they only exchanged a couple of words of greeting at the beginning of the party. It just wasn't fair. But then, people started clapping their hands and smiling brightly as the countdown began.

"Ten!"

Holding his glass of champagne a little bit tighter, Leonard approached Jim, focusing on the other man's smile.

"Nine!"

Sulu started laughing as he patted Jim on the back.

"Eight!"

Leonard swallowed quickly and caught Jim's hand.

"Seven!"

"Hey, Bones! Just on time," Jim winked at him again and squeezed his hand.

"Six!"

Leonard nodded and looked around. Everybody seemed to be focused on the countdown.

"Five!"

"Hey, Bones, are you alright? You look a little bit pale..."

"Four!"

"No, I'm fine, Jim, just..."

"Three!"

"Just what?"

"Two!"

Leonard took a next deep breath.

"One! Happy New Year!"

"I love you, Jim," Leonard said at the same time as people started yelling and congratulating each other.

Even with all the people around them were still shouting and laughing, Leonard felt like there was no one besides him and Jim in the room. He swore he could hear the rapid beating of his heart.

Jim just looked at him and for a moment Leonard thought Jim hadn't heard him. Or heard perfectly well but just didn't know what to say, so Leonard made a move back and wanting to blame everything on the champagne. But then Jim smiled again and squeezed Leonard's hand and didn't let go of him.

"Why now?" Jim asked finally, caressing Leonard's hand gently with his thumb.

Leonard just sighed. "We're always shit when it comes to timing, I guess," he said and when Jim laughed Leonard looked down at their joined hands. "I had enough of waiting. It wasn't like I planned it. You were just talking to everybody else and I blame that on you, by the way," he said and Jim giggled, stepping closer to Leonard. "But I promised myself that..."

"I remember you saying something like 'New Year resolutions are bullshit'."

"It wasn't a resolution," he denied, rolling his eyes as Jim bit his lip, trying not to laugh. "I meant to do that before now and it was you who kept ruining all the plans I've had."

"You know what, everybody seems to be busy anyway... do you maybe have some more plans for tonight? I promise I won't ruin anything this time."

"I don't know. I kind of like the party..."

This time it was Jim who rolled his eyes, wrapped his arms around Leonard's waist and looked him in the eyes. Leonard could see people turning around to look at them, but he didn't care. He smiled back at Sulu and Gaila who murmured "congratulations" and nodded back at Spock, expressionless. Maybe going to this party hadn’t been such an awful idea. He once again looked at Jim, who tightened his hold on his waist, and Leonard felt that heat Jim always seemed to radiate. They still held their glasses of champagne behind each other's backs, which made actually holding Jim a little bit harder, but it wasn't all too bad. In fact, it felt pretty good.

Jim pulled him closer, still gripping his waist, and he brought their lips together in a chaste kiss.

"I love you, too."

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **[Space Wrapped](http://space-wrapped.livejournal.com/)** 2011 - holiday McCoy/Kirk fic challenge. Prompt #25: _Bones makes a New Year's resolution to finally tell Jim how he feels about him._  
>  Okay, this is not only my first McCoy/Kirk fic, but also my first Star Trek fic in general, so... please, be gentle? I hope you'll like it at least a little bit, guys. Happy Holidays!
> 
> Thanks for beta to **[Stormkpr](http://stormkpr.livejournal.com/)** and **[Sullacat](http://sullacat.livejournal.com/)**.
> 
> Also can be found **[*HERE*](http://megan-moonlight.livejournal.com/474310.html#cutid1)**


End file.
